Posted by Mark in 
Office lingo is something we hear often and at times it’s hard to make sense out of them. Quite frankly, it’s nothing but a bunch of made up words to make things sound “cooler” than what they really are. Today we wanted to focus on some popular office terms. But before we start the list, let’s quick take a look at a hypothetical message from a CEO using these annoying words (the terms are highlighted in bold).
We need to start pre-planning so we do not repeat the same mistakes over and over again. This time we are going to take a granular approach to drill down the problems much better. The point of contact for this project will be Mr. John Doe who will also be in charge of the focus group. He will highlight the action items and I would appreciate if we could all brainstorm together on ideas he proposes to us. Mr. Doe has always given 110% to this company and I am sure his expertise will help us regain the paradigm shift in marketing that we saw a few years back. One thing is for sure, we just can’t afford to lose anymore windows of opportunity. We need to start forward planning in order to leverage what we have.
Also we will be adding a few more pods in the office so no two person will have to share pods anymore. I have had a few concerns regarding shoulder surfing and as promised in the last meeting, this issue will be soon fixed.
I have appointed Ms. Jane Doe as the product evangelist. As you all know Ms. Doe has been an indispensable asset to our company and our last hit product was a brain child of hers. If there are any problems feel free to conversate with me. If you need to take the conversation offline, feel free to call me so we can setup a time to talk about problems and touch base frequently. I have been running out of bandwidth lately since there has been quite a bit of pressure from the board of directors. Please turn on your idea shower. If this product doesn’t work as planned, we will be seeing a lot of pink slips being handed within this company.
If you have any questions feel free to ping me. This product has to be a 2.0 version of our last product or else we don’t have a chance in this market. This is our only chance!
Imagine listening to the above message from your boss, that would definitely annoy the heck out of anyone. However, it does help to know what they mean. Here is a list of 25 office terms that are annoying but worth knowing.
1. Point Of Contact : Person or a department serving as the coordinator or focal point of an activity or program.
2. Action Items : A method of assigning responsibility, usually within a business organization.
3. Focus Groups : Small number of people ( usually between 4 and 15, but typically 8 ) brought together with a moderator to focus on a specific product or topic.
4. Touch Base : To briefly update someone on future plans. Usually associated with business deals.
5. Pre Plan : Planning for a plan
6. Granularity : Breaking down a process or system into smaller modules to make it more accessible/easier to comprehend.
7. Window Of Opportunity : A time where the chance for action arises. When one sees such a chance, one must grab it.
8. Pods : Another name for cubicles.
9. Paradigm Shift : In a general sense, a change happening on a vast scale.
10. Indispensable : Essential, crucial, indispensable, clutch, vital.
11. Leverage : Ability to influence a system, or an environment, in a way that multiplies the outcome of one’s efforts without a corresponding increase in the consumption of resources.
12. Ping Me : To send a signal or make brief contact.
13. Pink Slip : An employee’s termination notice.
14. Forward Planning : Making plans for the plan.
15. Brainstorm : To suggest a lot of ideas very quickly before considering some of them more carefully.
16. Product Evangelist : Person who attempts to build a critical mass of support for a given product.
17. Idea Shower : Throwing ideas like there is no tomorrow.
18. Brain Child : Another term for “thought” or “idea.”
19. Shoulder Surfer : Someone who looks over a colleague shoulder to find what they are doing.
20. Conversate : To talk, discuss or converse.
21. 110% : The percentage effort bosses usually ask of their employee.
22. Drill Down : Get to the bottom of a problem.
23. Bandwidth : The speed at which a person can perform.
24. Offline : Used in business to describe communication outside of the normal channel, or defered to a later time.
25. 2.0 : Marketing catchphrase/buzzword than, when attached to a name, implies an “improved” or “superior” product than it’s predicesor.
Feel free to share some of the fancy office words that you have come across.
Have a great weekend!
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get it done! meaning: i dont know how to do it, and i really dont care neither .. i just need it ready now. Usually comes together with the 110% & High priority.
Thanks for sharing Deniz
Just a few granular thoughts that came from my pre-plan processes were….. These weasel words are banned from my business. The one I particularly hate is, “leverage”.
Give me plain talking any day. The problem with this kind of nonsense is managers can prattle on for hours and not say anything.
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Jan and John need to “partner” on this! That is by far the worst!
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